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Altgeld Hall

1409 W. Green St., Urbana

Score: -294

196 votes counted.

1.6 Smell

2.3 Crowdedness

1.6 Cleanliness

Altgeld Hall
Good (+2)
Average (+1)
Bad (-2)
On a scale of (1-5), 5 being the best smelling, the least crowded, and the cleanest...
1 2 3 4 5 Smell
1 2 3 4 5 Crowdedness
1 2 3 4 5 Cleanliness

Comments

Name

Comment (please refrain from excessive vulgarities)
Barry McCockinner says...

It was a calm and quite day. The leaves had already begun to change colors. Just overall a beautiful scenic autumn day in champaign. This day would soon turn into a nightmare for me. It began at about 2:15 PM. I was going about my business and I could feel my insides begin to churn. 20 minutes later my hemorrhoids began to flare up. I knew I had to get to the nearest dump spot. I made my way to the third floor throne room. The smell was pristine. The sweet scent of lilac filled my nostrils. The bathroom was flawless. I was impressed by the cleanliness. Sadly it would not stay like this for long. I had my choice of any porcelain throne in the room. I selected a beautiful Koehler brand toilet. As I consider myself to be some what of a toilet aficionado. I knew this was the 2008 industrial grade C Koehler toilet manufactured in Columbus Ohio. She was a beaut. Going back I would have selected a different toilet to save this poor girl from the abuse I was about to unload on her. I begin the act. I drop my pants and take my seat. That's when the hell began. I knew things weren't off to a great start. I squeezed and I pushed and pushed but nothing would come out. It seemed like the shit was a massive log. It felt really dry and was decently firm it had no give to it and was having a rough time exiting my ass. By this point I had begun to sweat profusely. I began taking deep breathes and pushing this vile creature from my ass. My face turned beat red. I was moaning and groaning. I was determined to not be beat by this turd. I then tried to stick a finger up my ass to poke the turd apart to no avail. I then shot out some piss unexpectedly and it went all over the stall and my pants around my feet. Finally I got the log about an inch or two out of my hole. I then was able to use my hand to finish the deed. I look around and realized the damage this shit had done to me and the stall. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and realized I had used my shit covered hand. I made my well to the sink to clean myself up. To this day I can no longer walk into this bathroom with breaking down in tears from the horrific experience.

Organic Chemistry 1 says...

The gentlemen's room on the third floor offers the best views for a whiz. You can wave to all the students walking by Alma. What a place.

siht says...

314 best place to poop

Damn says...

Smells like piss everywhere in the restroom

Hirsh Joshi says...

By the way, I ****ed the guy below me.

Illini Dump Critic says...

Avoid at all costs! High student traffic makes it a dirty, foul-smelling place to do the deed. Definitely gives UGL some competition for worst bathrooms on campus.

Professor James Pascaleff says...

That hot janitor, are baap re!

Hirsh Joshi says...

I was out and about on the prowl again with my good friend, Jay Patel, and we decided to take it to the stalls again. When we were passionately making out in one stall, the hot janitor walked in and we decided to invite him. Needless to say, the space in the Altgeld bathrooms gave us enough space to get it on!

Anna says...

Bathrooms are pretty nasty. The janitor is hot, though.

10/10 Would Make Eye Contact Again says...

Saw math teacher leaving the stall as I was washing my hands. We walked to class together. It was magical.

Anonpoopy says...

really fun wall messages, a radiator under the sink covered in rusty foil. One stall so you don't have to poop next to anyone. C'est fantastique!

ME says...

Possibly the only place on campus where you can use the urinal, wash your hands and look down to Green street ALL at the same time. Bonus: when the squirrels visit the bathroom window.

Defecatious Prime says...

not a big fan. It would be in your best interest to go elsewhere 12/10, would poop again

cilantro says...

might be smelly and crowded, but it has the best view on campus over looking the alma mater

mathlete says...

The women's bathrooms, all of them (I've checked), are ALWAYS narsty. Really, really smelly.

') says...

asd

BUTT KNIGHT says...

After half a week of Jimmy Johns and Cravings and a night of heavy drinking I dragged my compacted ass to Calc III after chugging away a cocktail of red bull and black coffee. It was during the middle of the lecture that I felt the beast awaken inside of me. Swiftly, I dashed out of my seat and sprinted to the nearest stall to eject the spent rod before it causes a meltdown in my pants. I zoomed onto one of the decrepit porcelain seats and kicked the door closed to do my shameful business away from human eyes. After a few minutes the beast refused to exit its lair. Desperate and in deep agony I squatted on the rim of the toilet and used my hands to part my cheeks. It worked. A jet black, greasy butt dragon zoomed out of my unsuspecting pooper with a loud reverberation that shook the flimsy walls of the stall. In that brief moment of euphoria I lost consciousness and control of my bladder and ejected an arch of urine in celebration of the of my putrid puxatony phil. Once I regained consciousness I realized the dragon cannot be tamed by a mere flush. I wiped my ass with the gritty paper next to me and left it with a pair of red speckled wings, as a final parting gift to my dear foe.

George says...

You can't close the doors of the stalls if you bring a backpack inside

Josh says...

not as bad as UGL but still pretty shitty.

Nick says...

i always piss on the floor/sink handles because this place sucks so bad

Alfred says...

Shat myself trying to run back to the Union instead of shitting in this shithole. Up the stairs my ass exploded. Tried to clean myself up in there but the shit had already oozed down my legs and stained my shoes. Was probably the most embarassing and disgusting moment of my entire life, and as soon as I got back I started to research the internet for sphincter exercises and diet plans to ensure it would never happen again. Made the mistake of telling this to my roommate, who dubbed the entire experience "The Legend of Gravylegs". However, I would rather have that entire experience again than shitting in the shithole known as Atgeld Hall.

AngryShitter says...

Shitty

Dan says...

I usually am holding a newspaper or binder under my arm while taking a piss, but this is quite difficult given the space between urinals, so i have to put it down above to sink. Unfortunately this is usually also difficult due to the shelf above the sink being already used to hold other things. I wouldn't even think of taking a dump here.

Gerald says...

couldnt close the door bc the toilet was in the way so i had to leave it open and got called a "f**king pervert" by some guy under his breath as he walked past on his way out. ruined my day

Joe Blow says...

These bathrooms are designed to maximize the uncomfortableness in both awkwardness and size. It's great. Except that I almost died once, when a freight train ran right through the crowded stall! You'd have thought they'd have thought twice before running the tracks through the small stalls.

Rick says...

I once refused to poop here during my lecture and instead went across to the Union. I told the girl I was sitting with that it was "under construction."

Mr. LOL says...

-63...damn you mad bro? (and by bro i mean Atgeld)

Captain Kwirk says...

I came here to do some good ol' poo smear'n, but the job was already done. There was poooop evveryyywhereee! FORBES HALL BATHROOM 4 LIFE!

TysonLover says...

I pee here every day on the off chance I get to see Professor Tyson.

Sir PoopsAlot says...

I was taking a shit on the second floor and nolan snuck under the door to ask me about French Fries. Would not recommend

Mr. Poop says...

The second floor mens restroom has quite the view from the urinal! You can see the people on green street and they can see you!!!

Mysterious Pooper says...

Couldn't find the bathroom so I had to use a trash can. Whoever made the layout of this building should be beaten with bamboo canes.

Nate says...

Good luck even finding a bathroom in this labyrinth of a building. If you're fortunate enough to find one before you explode, prepare yourself for an unpleasant experience.

IcedTea says...

Shit is tinier than Nolan's ****! I know how big his **** is because the urinal is right next to the sink.

Nick says...

it is hard to get a backpack in the stall because they are so small